Ok, so maybe Waldo isn't really hiding in these pictures, but what you can see is that we have a serious problem here. The problem is stuff and mess. You take the stuff of 6 kids, none of which like to pick up after themselves and here is what you get... a messy, messy house. Don't get me wrong. I don't like it and most of the time it doesn't look like this, but often enough, the clutter becomes overwhelming. This is an excellent testing of my heart. Above was the scene in my house on Sunday morning, before church. So here I am wanting to prepare my heart for worship and all I can do is dwell on what's right in front of me. Here is a blurb from a "help" email I sent to a friend:
I currently have 15 balloons scattered all over the house from our parties on Thurs. and Fri. One of Emma's sneakers is in the bathroom, and the other is on the kitchen counter. I have a pile of money from The Game of Life that Emma brought upstairs on the end table by the couch and I think there are a few crumpled up from Sam in the sun room. There is a cup from someone's water on the floor, under the computer table. Eric's redskins jersey ("Go Redskins") is on the kitchen table b/c that is the catch all space when coming in from outside or for items brought in from the car. There is McDonalds trash on the wine table, orange peels from Sam on the homework table, a card from the deck on the couch (where's the rest of the deck?), 50 match box cars scattered around the first floor like eggs for an egg hunt, 4 pairs of shoes in random places (even though they have a place), a peacock feather (where did that come from?), a roll of toilet paper on the kitchen floor (huh?) bla, bla, bla...., oh, and fortunately Sierra was not in the infant carrier as seen in the picture. "Phew!"
In other words, there is clutter and stuff everywhere I look. And I don'tknow where it came from or how it all got there.
In other words, there is clutter and stuff everywhere I look. And I don'tknow where it came from or how it all got there.
Ok, so rather than getting angry or blaming my kids for my discontentment, I went to the Lord, asked for help, and prayed that he would meet me in church. I spent the rest of the morning trying to navigate my heart and my cravings. I wanted to know if I was upset because I should be, or if God was trying to put to death a different part of my sin, such as idolatry (making my house more important than him). It's a tough place to be because on the one hand, I don't think that my vision of a perfectly orderly home is really practical in this season of life with a newborn and a busy toddler. On the other hand, I don't think it's too much to ask of my kids to put their stuff away either. Hence, I have a dilemma. I arrived at church, still composed but ready to burst into tears. We began singing a song "Greater Than We Can Imagine". The first three lines read:
Every day we’ll bless You and praise Your name
And on Your glorious splendor we will dwell
On Your wondrous works, Lord, we’ll meditate
So here it was... my answer to prayer. God's spirit gently nudged my heart through these words. I was dwelling on MY desires, MY discontentment, MY kids, MY cirumstances, giving no place to Him. Don't get me wrong, I need to think about all these things mentioned, but they must each be framed within the boundaries of truth. God's splendor needs to color every other part of my life. God's wondrous works must be at the forefront of my thoughts, with all others trailing behind. I want to bless and praise the Lord even when it's hard.
So I am grateful for God's truth and his conviction and his personal care for my heart. God, please help me to always put you first. ...off to do the dishes now!
